BU Red ’19

Team Name BU Red
School Boston University
Location [figure it out]
Division Co-Rec
Captains Connor Burns & David Bier
Team Color Red/White (real red, not crimson & cream bullshit)
Team Mascot A middle-aged potentially intoxicated father with a thick Boston accent yelling at the umpire at his child’s little league game, desperately trying to relive his childhood while making Tom Brady proud.
Team 90s TV Show Legends of the Hidden Temple
Team Song “Good Times Roll” by Griz
Distance to Charlottesville, VA About 3 Eric Mason home runs
Player Roster
Connor “God-Emperor of Softball” Burns: A three-year veteran of the UVA tournament, Connor once ate a Chipotle burrito in five bites. Only runs softball to (1) leave his kitchen, (2) not wear sleeves, and (3) feel important.   David “The Suit” Bier: Only dresses in suits and sweats. The team literally would not survive without him despite him missing every practice.   Eric “Definitely Not on Steroids” Mason: The other three-year UVA veteran on BU Red, Eric has been practicing his bat flip for years so people know how confident he when he hits a pop fly.   Ryan “The Cannon” Strassman: When sober, has been known to crack mach-3 throwing runners out from the hot corner. Possibly a quarter pirate cannon on his father’s side. When less sober, well…kid’s got a lot of heart.   Megan “MVP” Fouse: Literally the best player on the team. Three-year champion of her rec league that she hasn’t invited the rest of BU to for some reason.   Jess “The Champ” Coleman: Coolest player. A man of few words.   Alex “Bernie” Bernstein: Loves softball so much that he has embezzled thousands of dollars for BU Law Softball using the clout of his Student Government position. “Hey guys you really shouldn’t put that in there; that might get me in trouble.”   Zach “Holy Shit How Did He Catch That” Nelson: Lowkey the most athletic person at BU. His outfielding leaves teams asking, “Actually though, how the fuck did he catch that?”   Angelia “The Rook” Heimsoth: Breakout 1L that has ju[]ped up to BU Red based on her outstanding fall perfor[]ance. Has she []entioned that she went to Ohio State? Don’t worry, she will.   Maggie “Too Tall” Lovric: Survived Eric Mason taking her out with a slide at third while at a Saturday morning scrimmage. Still got the out. Has been known to bully the Berenstain Bears from time to time.   Jordan “The Pain” Paine: Has allegedly hit several cars during practice that gave the captains heart attacks. Allegedly.
Star Players Megan Fouse (star infielder), Eric Mason (home-run champ), Zach Nelson (one-man outfield), our three 1Ls: Maggie, Angelia, and Jordan…come to think of it everyone is really talented except for Connor.
Law Review Nerds Connor, who published his note this spring, David, who is publishing his note this fall, and Jess, who asked not to be associated with the former two.
Team History At last year’s tournament, BU Red finished the tournament by beating [barely] T-14 Georgetown in a game that was referred to by one fan as “definitely cordial.” After going 4-0 at the Battle of Boston this year, BU Red was ejected before the finals for similar cordiality. As the first year that BU will be attending the entire tournament, we just hope that everyone has fun.
Practice Regimen Like mighty bear, we stock up on BP and eating lost hikers in fall so that we can survive long, desolate winter. In April, we awaken, ravenous for RBIs.
Want To Play Against Any team that has a fight song, to teach them that maybe they shouldn’t.
DON’T Want To Play Against Harvard. Been there, done that.
Favorite Thing About The Tournament Getting together with students from other law schools to enjoy a great weekend of softball and fun, creating bonds that could very well last entire careers, and then immediately and unceremoniously breaking those bonds when we play their team.
The Tournament Would Be More Awesome If Cannabis was legal is this state
Anecdotes On the advice of counsel, we are invoking our privilege against self-incrimination.