| Team Name | UVA OLD |
| School | UVA Alumni (2010/2011) |
| Location | Hooked up to our respective sleep apnea machines, if we’re lucky; others have been put out to pasture |
| Division | Regular |
| Captains | Christy Weisner & Doug Bouton |
| Team Color | Halo Top GOLD (& sprinkles) |
| Team Mascot | A beached whale |
| Team 90s TV Show | X-Files because we like our sh*t a little freaky. |
| Team Song | “Crossroads” by Bone Thugs – best appreciated, as we did, at a 1997 high school dance |
| Distance to Charlottesville, VA | Unclear. Old Man Radke (aka Boo-Radley) served us all fake eviction notices and we haven’t been home since. |
| Player Roster | |
| Andrew “Schoolboy” Mellen
Jason (RoRo!) Rottner Stephen Wendell (Wend-Piece) Doug (“Douggie Fresh”) Bouton Kara Allen (K-Bone) Steven (“John-Steve”) Crenshaw Emily (EmBo or God Help me If I Have to Catch a Fast Ball) Goebel Blake (B-Lake) Goebel Brendan “Ask an Old Man” Radke Jake (Sexual Chocolate) McCloy Mike “Luscious Mane” Keenan Peter Strup (Father of World’s Cutest Child) Christy (“Weis Piece” or ChrisTINA) Weisner Matt (“Ivy”) Farmer Patrick Mott (P-Mott)
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| Star Players | Everyone except Emily Goebel who has the softball skills and coordination of her 18 month old son |
| Law Review Nerds | Jason Rottner. The rest of us try to hide our lack of brains with experience. |
| Team History | A conglomeration of past UVA roommates, friends, former lovers (it’s horribly awkward), and UVA law couples who come together every year to relive their glory days and take in the Cville sunshine |
| Practice Regimen | We fall into two buckets: (1) sprints, batting cages, squats, and home run visualizations, (2) crossing our fingers and praying that our soft office bodies don’t combust (combined with light jogging and internalizing others judgmental sighs from poor decisions on the field last year)
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| Want To Play Against | UVA teams |
| DON’T Want To Play Against | Any team that is not going to show up to its Sunday morning game. We’ve been up since 5:45 am with our ten children under the age of five and still made it. |
| Favorite Thing About The Tournament | Pretending we are ten years younger |
| The Tournament Would Be More Awesome If | Unicorns served free beer. Don’t make us tell you again. Yeeesh. |
| Anecdotes | Several team members have started food and drink companies, which is very convenient for “freegan” activist K-Bone. Watch your fridge! (Or it will get Blake-d.) In depth discussions about romantic comedies and your deepest emotions are encouraged, but only post-game, on a couch, and after a large feeding. |
