UVA Men’s Gold

Team Name UVA Men’s Gold
School UVA
Location Here
Division Regular
Captains Vince Flynn; Jonathan York; Andrew Gear, probably
Team Color Clashing with Vieth’s hair
Team Mascot Christian Berger’s Hat
Team 90s TV Show That show with Topanga
Team Song Dude Looks Like a Lady
Distance to Charlottesville, VA 1.3 York Mapquest-ed Home Runs
Player Roster

Vince Flynn (captain) –appearance of a blond Matt Bomer, diet of a small bird. Probably jumping rope.

Jonathan York (captain) – Head Peer Advisor, captain of Men’s Gold, Commissioner of NGSL, wields power like the Emperor wears clothes.

Henry Morris – Mr. Rogers if Mr. Rogers was oddly attractive.

Nick Hagen – bald, virginal.  Somehow commuting from NJ.  Hits: both.  Throws: neither.

Grant Page – out with a torn ACL.  Prickly but loving.

Will “Double Play” Vieth

Herminio Rivera – throws harder than your average American League relief pitcher, bats like your average American League relief pitcher.

Spencer Ryan – Might lose it if Peter asks if he will adopt him one more time.

Christian “A Poor Man’s Fernando Rodney” Berger

Collin “The Strangler” Hunt – Most likely to strike out with three consecutive missiles behind the third base coach.

Peter Dragna – When asked about his family, he said something about the Mafia and walked off smiling.  Not sure where to go with that.

Star Players Christian Berger; Jonathan York; Will Vieth, assuming absolutely nothing is on the line
Law Review Nerds Shockingly more than one
Team History Similar to UVA Basketball, great when it doesn’t matter
Practice Regimen York and Berger propose annoyingly ambitious practice plan; Hagen (not even in the state) pushes back; it snows.  Rinse and repeat.
Want To Play Against UMBC Law
DON’T Want To Play Against  UMBC Law
Favorite Thing About The Tournament The chance to claim some pseudo-glory we whiffed on in

undergrad, high school, and Little League

The Tournament Would Be More Awesome If