UVA America Co-Rec

School THE University of Virginia School of Law
Location Charlottesville
Division Co-Rec
Captains Dascher Pasco, Laura Gregory
Team Mascot Dionysus
Team 90s TV Show Golden Girls
Team Song Pony – Ginuwine
Distance to Charlottesville, VA 0.00 Nautical Miles
Player Roster
Dascher Pasco, Queen of the James, Mother of Dragonflies

Laura “Does Not Wait in Lines at the Biltmore” Gregory

Latif “Does Not Belong on This Team” Alashe

Abby “Spitfire” Meredith

Amanda “My Dad Can Outdrink My Boyfriend, Your Boyfriend, and All Your Sorry Asses” Stanzione

Ariella Stepanian, Most Likely to Tab and Highlight Her Beach Reader

Avia “Has to Call Her Mom About Her Credit Score” Gridi

Becca Kimmel, Here for the Jersey

Jules Vargo, Can’t Operate a Sliding Glass Door

Christine Sherman, 99 Pounds of Steel

Clayton “Third Time . . . Cool?” Bailey

Colette McNeela, Will whip a battery at you . . . Do not mess.


Silly Ethan Allen Goldman Sachs

Joanna “Side Eye” Kelly

“Spaghetti Legs” Ryan Leonard

Liesel Schapira, sry boys, she may have split custody over her dog, but she’s not on the market

Star Players Coco McNeela: When she’s done with us, direct your team to her for marching orders.


Stanz: Assuming she has fully recovered from being body slammed by Mountain at Thursday night drunk league. It was two years ago, but he is BIG DUDE.

Law Review Nerds DC Clay, Sachs
Team History Dear Diary: Ethan told me he teaches people ‘real life.’ He said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? He said, yes. I said, you’re beautiful.
Practice Regimen There are 500 cals in a bottle of Crosé. You burn 600 in one hour at Zoom. You do the math.
Want To Play Against UVA alums who think they can outdrink us (and they probably can)
DON’T Want To Play Against Cornell – but thankfully our captains are in charge of the tournament, and they took care of that
Favorite Thing About The Tournament Screaming RTR like it’s goddam T-Town at Virg and knockin’ Georgetown chicks off tables.
The Tournament Would Be More Awesome If The boys from Georgia were all single
Anecdotes That time Dascher and Laura got locked in the office at the Park for 72 hours and then got shackled to this lovely tournament for another five thousand twenty-five hundred six hundred minutes. We all really appreciated it.