UVA AMERICA (CO-REC)

Team Name
UVA America
Location
306 Alderman Road
Division
Co-Rec
Captains
Christina Katsampes, Eli Schooley
Team Color
Red / White / Blue
Team Mascot
Crash DaSilva-Schapira
Team 90s TV Show
The Real World
Team Song
Run the World (Girls) – Beyonce
Distance to Charlottesville, VA
0.00 Kilometers
Player Roster
Angelique “The Yogi” Ciliberti, 3L 2B, OF
Ollie “Why Aren’t You Elevating?” Engebretson, 3L OF, 3B
Joe “Big Daddy” DaSilva, 3L 3B, OF
Eli “The Pineapple of Palos Verdes” Heller, 3L P
Christina “Genie in a Bottle” Katsampes, 3L C, OF
Becca “The Cool 2L” Kimmel, 2L C, OF
Anna “Would Sell a Kidney to be Beyonce” Lacerte, 3L C, OF
Will “The Spreadsheet” Lawley, 3L P, 1B
Madison “Meet Me @ Brunch” Marcus, 3L OF, C
Allison “Strong Island” Markowitz, 3L OF, C
“Slammin’” Sami Al-Marzoog, 3L SS, OF
Claire “Rad Lawyer” Mitchell, 3L OF, 2B
Monica “Original Gunner Blonde” Trueba, 3L 2B, OF
Eli “Ernie” Schooley, 3L OF, SS
Alaric “Alec” “Mountain” Smith, 3L 1B, 3B
Danielle “Martha Stewart” Wheeler, 3L C, OF
Star Players
Monica Trueba, Madison Marcus
Law Review Nerds
Monica Trueba, Ollie Engebretson, Eli Heller
Team History

“What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger.”

From the ashes of Men’s Orange comes the rowdiest, friendliest, and most talented group of softballers that UVA Law has ever assembled. Co-Rec America will be making its first appearance in the tournament and will be disappointed to leave without the Co-Rec crown. The team hopes to prove to a certain Bumble date from Georgetown that UVA, not Michigan is the most fun law school around.

Practice Regimen
6AM: Alarm goes off. Chug a pedialyte. Send a fire message to the team GroupMe me to confirm that winners never sleep. Stretch, pushups, brush & floss. Protein shake #1 down the hatch.

6:30-9AM: Pure Barre / Zoom / Purvelo / North Grounds Rec Center. Squats until the hamstrings scream. Squat some more. Glamour muscles after.

9-9:20AM: Breakfast. Eggs (poached) and avocado toast. Be basic; be fabulous. Protein shake #2.

10AM-2PM: CLASS / LIBRARY . . . because we have brains and brawn.

2PM-4PM: Team practice: BP, shotgun beers, fielding, vodka shots, laps. Protein shake #3.

4PM-5PM: NAP

5PM-2AM: Hit the GroupMe to check the mood. LIKE EVERYTHING. Time for a supply run: steak, greens, Franzia, Busch heavy, FIREBALL. Head to 306 Alderman to start the pregame. Play 3-5 games of Pong–Dartmouth-style because we’re coordinated. UBER XL. Head to Coupes. Try to find an undergrad bf/gf. Leave when they call you old. 18-year-olds are boring anyways. Head to Virg, it’s trash can time. Elevate until “Proud to be an American” plays. Get dumplings, soy sauce on everything. Sleep, rinse, repeat.

Want To Play Against
MEN’S GOLD
DON’T Want To Play Against
Men’s OG 2016
Favorite Thing About The Tournament
Spending three days pretending to be cool in front of our future colleagues.
The Tournament Would Be More Awesome If
Hangovers did not exist
Anecdotes
Angelique Ciliberti recently got certified as a yoga instructor. The captains hope that this training helps reduce the number of muscles pulled by the entire team by 100% for the weekend. Her spirit animal is the badger.

Ollie Engebretson played softball once during his 1L year before promptly retiring forever. He does not believe the party starts during tournament weekend until everyone is standing on an elevated surface. His spirit animal is the sable.

Joe DaSilva once ran a solo marathon completely out of spite. A year and a half later, Eli Heller is still buying his drinks because of it. Stay away ladies, this hot hunk of man meat is taken. His spirit animal is the tiger.

Eli Heller claims to be the inventor of both pineapples and “vintage shopping.” Plans to leave his firm after two years to focus on his budding fantasy basketball podcast. Rumored to have taken out extra federal loans to pay off his bet against Joe DaSilva. His spirit animal is the dog.

Christina Katsampes politely planned this entire tournament for the rest of you. Unfortunately, her role as Tournament Director has likely ruled out any future career move to the Student Affairs office of law schools in upstate New York. Does not have an official spirit animal because she refused to fill out the survey.

Becca Kimmel is just happy to be here. Wait? She has to play softball as part of being on this team? Correction, she is not happy to be here. Her spirit animal is the wild dog.

Anna Lacerte is still upset that her request for all black jerseys was swiftly rejected. Call her Ann-a at your own risk. IT’S AH-NAH! Her spirit animal is the otter.

Will Lawley splits his time between Charlottesville and Hollywood. You’ll likely recognize him as Jared Dunn from HBO’s hit comedy, Silicon Valley. Much to the team’s (and his girlfriend’s) chagrin, Will’s method acting means that he’s unable to leave his character behind on the West Coast. His spirit animal is the beaver.

Madison Marcus was thoroughly unimpressed by this year’s Libel show, as evidenced by her falling asleep twenty minutes into the first act. Thankfully for those around her, she graciously shared the libations that she casually snuck into the show. Her spirit animal is the otter.

Allison Markowitz’s three-year boycott of Bodo’s Bagels is still going strong. She insists that they are knock off trash compared to anything in Big Apple. Her spirit animal is the badger.

Sami Al-Marzoog continues to deny that he is actually a Saudi Arabian prince despite the whispers pervading the halls of 580 Massie Road. He also thinks the tournament would be more fun if we played soccer instead of softball. His spirit animal is the wolf.

Claire Mitchell is coming off a weekend of playing a variety of law school professors in UVA’s Libel Show. This weekend she hopes to portray a relatively competent softball player. Her spirit animal is the dog.

Monica Trueba ditched the library to actually come out to practice for this tournament. She also spent Friday and Saturday nights this semester religiously watching the movie Space Jam in hopes of stealing the softball prowess of her 1L section mates. Failed to complete the spirit animal quiz.

Eli Schooley has threatened to cancel the entire tournament on multiple occasions despite helping orchestrate the entire thing. He firmly believes that Katy Perry is actually JonBenet Ramsey. Likely to skip the entire weekend to embark on a hunt to find Hillary Clinton in rural New York. His spirit animal is the dog.

Alec Smith played college football and will let you know all about it if you give him two minutes of your time. Recently was told by an undergrad that he looked “so old” while attending a St. Patrick’s Day party at KA with Ollie Engebretson and Eli Schooley. His mental game is still suffering from this slight. His spirit animal is the tiger.

Danielle Wheeler pretends to enjoy being the team mom as a means to avoid actually playing softball. She is the most likely to critique opposing teams for failing to match their cleats with their jerseys. Her spirit animal is the otter.