Georgia State Blue
NOT Maple from Georgia State
|Team 90s TV Show||
|Distance to Charlottesville, VA||
About 6 hours too far.
|1. Will “will bet on women’s curling” Story: Will once bet on a U14 Quidditch match. Has GSU Blue at 7:1 to win the title. 3:1 to get to the championship game. He once threw up 100 times during a single round of golf…but he somehow played and finished every hole. Notable accolades: LVP of Spring Break 2016. I swear to God if you start popping up again, you’re cut off from the margaritas.
2. Michael “Activities Director” Seymour: The only player remaining from the 2015 squad, Seymour hopes his veteran experience can overcome the copious amount of margaritas him and Will Story will undoubtedly ingest during pool play. This guy is softball’s Mike Hampton, which is why Will is fielding bets on him getting hurt during this tournament at 3:2.
3. Coach/Pitcher/team hypeman Ryan “Rowdy Rooster” Brown: Ryan will yell “yeah c’mon!” anytime anything remotely good happens. Hit an 11 team parlay during the first round of March Madness. If you have a trashy southern name, he’s already in love with you. His number is 404-771-2657.
4. Kirstin “K-rod” Rodrigues: When this chick isn’t spending her weekends in the law review office, she’s on the diamond playing the meanest second base you’ll see all weekend. Most likely to be listening to songs you’ve never heard of from bands you’ll never see.
5. April “really didn’t wanna come last year, but thank you so much Michael for introducing me to this wonderful tournament” Meeks. Strongest southern accent you’ll hear at this tournament guaranteed or your money back. Also guaranteed to completely lose her voice at some point this tournament.
6. David “makes the most routine plays look difficult” Kerman: He’ll shotgun 3-4 beers in the same amount of time it takes him to run to first base. Kerman is in the process of starting up a badminton fantasy league. Also currently delivers subs for Jimmy Johns…in a Nissan Leaf. This kid f***s.
7. Anthony Sberna: Replacing the great Bob Davis will be a tough act to follow, but between Sberna and Ryan Brown, we hope that 2 pitchers are better than one. Fields his position like Greg freaking Maddux.
8. Mike “Da Weather Mane” Weathington: This kid’s golf game is strong and he can sling a pigskin. But softball is a different story. He’s on the team because he’s our friend and he kept bitchin’ about being on the second team. If you wanna test our defense, hit the ball to him.
9. Nate Chong: His real name is way too difficult to spell/pronounce, so I see why he goes by Nate. Related to Tommy Chong from Cheech and Chong. This man dresses better than you, and can hit it farther than you. Once swam the entire Mississippi River for cardio.
10. KC “can probably kick a softball farther than she can hit it” Pagnotta: Soccer player playing softball. Should be interested folks.
11. Andrea Beltran: Niece of Carlos Beltran. Has a dope service training poodle named Royal. Once rode Royal to school during Snowpocalypse 2014. Legendary.
12. Ali “I didn’t wanna come this year, but I will probably have a fantastic time” Grant.
13. Michael Barrett: He’s engaged to our head cheerleader Sheila Kazemian. Did I mention he’s engaged? Because that sucks.
14. Logan Stone: 1L. Doesn’t get a bio.
15. Alex Hegner: also a 1L. Also doesn’t get a bio.
**Team Mom 1: Alex Stone. If you are a woman and you want to live, you won’t approach her boyfriend Sean (GSU White). Seriously, she’ll cut you. But its her birthday UVA weekend, so wish her a happy birthday or you’re also likely to get cut.
**Head Cheerleader: Sheila Kazemian. Engaged to aforementioned Michael Barrett. Did I mention they’re engaged? Because that sucks.
See roster above
|Law Review Nerds||
K-Rod, Seymour, Miss April Meeks, and Kerman
In ’15, GSU lost on a walk-off grand slam in the quarterfinals to the all minor league Florida Coastal team currently being investigated by the NCAA for over 200 rules violations. Last year, GSU Blue came back hungry and made it to the semi’s, where their hangovers caught up with them, and they were downed by the eventual champs, UVA Gold. This year, in player-manager Michael Seymour’s final go at it, GSU Blue looks to ride off into the sunset champions.
Oh, and we’re bringing that loud speaker again. You’re welcome.
“We’re sitting here, and I’m supposed to be the franchise player, and we’re in here talking about practice. I mean, listen, we’re talking about practice. Not a game! Not a game! Not a game! We’re talking about practice. Not a game; not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it’s my last, not the game, we’re talking about practice, man. I mean, how silly is that? We’re talking about practice.”
|Want To Play Against||
Michigan. But only if the teletubbie is still on the team.
|DON’T Want To Play Against||
Our drunk selves.
|Favorite Thing About The Tournament||
That Michigan guy dressed in a yellow teletubbies outfit last year. Tough to top that.
|The Tournament Would Be More Awesome If||
Cornell didn’t steal our beer.
A piece of our highway collapsed yesterday. If we show up late, that’s why.