Seferina Berch, Jack Wray
Red, White, & Blue
A Healthy Liver
|Team 90s TV Show||
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
“All I Do Is Win”
|Distance to Charlottesville, VA||
Do we look like Google Maps?
John “Jack” Wray (C)
Seferina Berch (C)
Jamil Favors (Asst to the Captains)
Ruth “Beat Your Ass Barbie” Vassilas
We’re all special here
|Law Review Nerds||
John Wray, Jason Gangwer, Aaron Shaddy, Stephen Lamb, Alex Ussia
|IN A WORLD…
…full of Bluebooks and pin cites, somewhere between 15 and 20 law students came together with the shared goals of hitting dingers and chugging beers. Led by President Berch and Chief Inebriation Officer Wray, they hoped to return from UVA at least somewhat as victorious as they had the year before, when one of their players hit the sole run of their 3 game career while blackout drunk. Sadly, this was not an accomplishment that the administration decided to honor on the Penn website but it will remain immortalized in team lore for (at least) a few months. Our heroes traveled by train and by car to (hopefully warmer than last year) Charlottesville, Virginia. They had not practiced and didn’t expect to be terribly good at anything except drinking, but by gosh they had heart. And lots of alcohol.
Will they win? Will they lose? Will there be vomit? We sincerely hope the answer to the last two questions is no, but only time will tell.
Our tournament practice regimen involves YouTubing “softball” and falling asleep to A League of Their Own.
|Want To Play Against||
Fellow alcoholics so we don’t get judged
|DON’T Want To Play Against||
|Favorite Thing About The Tournament||
The crack of well-hit ball, the smell of freshly mowed grass, and the camaraderie of team sports all rank up there, but our favorite thing about the tournament is obviously the day-drinking.
|The Tournament Would Be More Awesome If||
We had a team dog that could ground balls.
“OMG did you see that guy on second? We’re totally going to third tonight”