On the heels of last year’s 3LOL triumph, the 2016 fall season is anyone’s game. How many times will someone hit a tree at Copeley during Regular games? Will Andrew Gear finally field a co-rec team, or will his season be stymied by torn knees, the 36% of women in the 3L class, and losing two of his three women to DDD (what up, spring 2015 co-rec champs)? Will RELLs continue to field a co-rec team despite the fact that there are hardly any Mormon women in the law school? Will someone take up the mantle of Body by Trey? Stay tuned to find out.
Teams to watch out for—
RELLs: Don’t let their commitment to religion fool you, these Mormon bros are swinging for the fences. With stars like AJ “Pete Wentz is so cool” Swartwood and Nick “Chicks love a bald dude” Hagen, home runs will be as common as babies will be in the stands. Despite the graduation of several RELLs players (and their wives, RIP RELLs co-rec team), we predict RELLs will be a force to be reckoned with.
Pro Boners: Despite his troubles with women, Andrew Gear will find his redemption surrounded by 9 dudes playing slow-pitch softball. Success depends on whether Harry Marino decides he is no better than law school softball (TBD he did play professional baseball), whether Alec “Mountain” Smith can continue to blind opposing batters with his head, and whether Tom “I have a heart condition so I can only take 10 shots” Furman can still throw a softball.
Darden Sect Y: Because North Grounds Softball League isn’t just for law students.
Slippin’ Jimmies: Coming back from a hard season, the Pro Boners have one more chance for redemption—by adding three girls, they’ve given themselves two chances to win a championship.
Deez 1Ls: Unclear whether the 2L Ds will stay together for another season. If so, we can’t wait to hear what irrelevant political name they come up with this year.
Dandelion (9/10/16): We’re not saying your entire law school career will be defined by how funny you are, but…
1L Tournament (9/18/16): A chance to prove which section has the best ten softball players—don’t worry, winning team gets 30 shirts
Macho Tournament (TBD): Because hitting slow pitch softballs past the trees at Copeley doesn’t burn enough testosterone
34th Annual Softball Tournament (4/7/17): CRG 4 lyfe. In other news, we hear Men’s Grey will finally be recovered from last year’s tournament—Men’s Gold, watch out.