Quinnipiac Free Churro ’19

Team Name FREE CHURRO
School Quinnipiac
Location The Locked Room
Division [Co Rec]
Captains Dave Onusko & Anthony Daub
Team Color Blue and White
Team Mascot Vivi
Team 90s TV Show Horsin’ Around
Team Song Paper Boi’
Distance to Charlottesville, VA Idk, ask Jeeves
Player Roster
#9 – Nick Ennis – handcrafted by the Greek Gods themselves. The guy your girlfriend wishes you were #14 Katie Lowe – Daub once smashed her in the face with a softball and Daub cried. Hockey player #12 Ashley Miller – her sister’s birthday is in a few days. That means chocolate chip cookies. #24 John Bashaw – Johnny Avalanche, aka Johnny Sin-sational. Golf guy. Son of Kathy #18 Johnny Houllahan – seems like a really sweet guy #2 David Webster – the ladies love it when he wears them joggers to school. #13 Meagan Corugedo – *Note to self to give her credit for the AirBnb #23 Mike Martin – Gary Busey reincarnate and softball enthusiast. Seeking to recapture that magic he had with that lovely lady from Rutgers he meet here last year #87 Kat Bullock – 1L #15 George Morgan Jr. – 1L #69 Tom Gerte –  was once the proud owner of an atrocious mustache. You all remember him from two years ago. #3 Cileena Terra – Mr. White’s favorite target to cold call in Bankruptcy #8 Adam Brocklehurst – Daub once stalked his girlfriend on facebook #36 Anthony Daub – The Overgrown Ewok, Andre the Giant Chia Pet, Guyscraper, Timothee Chalamet’s Giant Peach, The World’s largest single cell organism, J-Rock, Jizzy Gillespie, Jack and the Giant Jolly Green Jackov, Wadzilla, The Pointless Giant, Jono Ono, The Cloud Botherer, Spewbacca, Fred Durst’s Wing Man, Creator of the Bumblecide Pact, and His College Friends Called Him Tall McCartney #6 Tom Pietruczuk – I have never met this person in my life #22 Dan Corica – I have never seen this person in my life. We have txted one another. #41 Dave Onusko – I stopped at a Jack in the Box on my way here. #7 Joel Cartner – Tyrion Lannister has a tender spot in his heart for him. Was the proximate cause of Hodor’s untimely demise.
Star Players Mike Martin’s trust fund
Law Review Nerds I don’t know what this question is asking
Team History problematic
Practice Regimen Hockey
Want To Play Against Zion Williamson
DON’T Want To Play Against Aaron Carter because he beat Shaq that one time
Favorite Thing About The Tournament Charlottesville is the birthplace of the Dave Matthews Band.  
The Tournament Would Be More Awesome If It was The Masters
Anecdotes I think that human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution