|Team Name||UVA Iron|
|School||UVA Law Alumni|
|Location||Major legal markets and Seattle|
|Captains||Ryan and Ikenna|
|Team Color||Rainbow Chic|
|Team Mascot||Steve’s kids stacked on top of each other in a trenchcoat|
|Team 90s TV Show||Frasier|
|Team Song||F****n Problems – A$AP Rocky (ft. 2 Chainz, Drake, & Kendrick Lamar). It resonates with us because it’s 5 years past its prime but still amazing.|
|Distance to Charlottesville, VA||Zero miles. Because it’s always right here.
*points to heart*
|9L Ikenna A. – P
10L Tim C. – OF
9L Chris D. – OF
9L Doug H. – IF
9L Brett L. – IF
9L Ben M. – OF
9L Jim P. – OF
9L Dan S. – IF
9L Ryan T. – IF
9L Alex T. – IF8L Steve R. – OF
8L Kendall H. – UT
Jimmy A. – IR
Matt H. – DNP (Rest)
Paul F. – DNP (Apathy)
Terrell U. – DNP (Partner track)
|Star Players||Ikenna left the law to deal drugs, but it’s “totally like, about wellness and healing man.” You can find him sending you links to Goop.com articles professing the benefits of CBD for athlete recovery and relaxation, and avoiding any of his classmates now working in US Attorneys’ Offices.
Ben M. was preyed upon by his Peer Advisor as an impressionable 1L, proving that the program works as designed. They’ve since produced a beautiful baby girl, which means that ironically, he’s returning to C’ville to spend a weekend away from his family.
Chris D. is just as fearless and reckless with his finances as he is on the field. Depending on the value of Bitcoin during the weekend of April 6-8 he could either be paying for the entire team’s AirBnB or asking someone to spot him a Gus Burger.
Much like his hero, Markelle Fultz, Dan S. can only improve. While batting an abysmal .200 in last year’s tournament, Dan kept telling his teammates to “Trust the Process”, but we don’t think he understands what that means. A ritual sacrifice to the memory of Sam Hinkie should put him back on track.
|Law Review Nerds||Jim was on Law Review, which theoretically gives him some legal cache. Ryan and Alex got tricked into being on VJIL, which is totally “almost as good.”|
|Team History||Old guys and gals from the classes of 2011 through 2013 with more misplaced confidence than LaVar Ball. We came back as alumni last year and got beat by a roided-out FSU team in our second game against them. This year, our only goal is to not get injured and/or freeze to death.|
|Practice Regimen||Practicing Law? We’ve been doing that just long enough and gained just enough experience to be asked to leave by our firms. It’s not us, it’s them.|
|Want To Play Against||UVA Blue or UVA Gold. So we can tell them old softball and Biltmore stories while they listen patiently, incorrectly believing that they are making valuable professional contacts.|
|DON’T Want To Play Against||Whatever southern law school the former Florida Coastal students have transferred to this year.|
|Favorite Thing About The Tournament||Favorite thing about the tournament used to be winning it. Now, it’s sitting around between games talking about how we used to win, and boy do we spin a good yarn.|
|The Tournament Would Be More Awesome If||We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. Radar gun. If every MLB stadium has a Kidz Zone of some sort with one, we’re sure the bright minds at UVA Law can work out the logistics.|
|Anecdotes||Tim C. is available to represent any of the visiting athletes in the inevitable public intoxication trials soon to be scheduled in Charlottesville municipal court.
One of our athletes tricked their law firm into paying for a cross-country flight for this tournament. In this game, you gotta have a high softball IQ on and off the field to succeed.
Brett L. is a big fan of the “Daddy’s Home” franchise, and is working on a few big theories about the Wahlberg Cinematic Universe (“WCU”).